Confessions of a Broken Heart
by sparzelli
Summary: It started as a favor. It escalated into someting that left them both spinning. RxG
1. One is the Loneliest Number

**Confessions of a Broken Heart**

_-O n e _ is the Loneliest Number-

Soundtrack: Dear Maria; All Time Low

--

My name is Rikku. I loved a boy. He broke my heart.

--

"_Detention!_ You wanted to see me after class to give me _detention?"_ Rikku cried at the teacher. Was she crazy? She had a perfect attendance record! Giving her detention was totally unfair. She was late by, like, two minutes, and only because she stopped to help a janitor who spilled his trash can.

"Yes, Rikku, detention. I do not tolerate being late, and you know that." Rikku scowled at her and stormed out of the room, almost making a big show until she ran into a girl outside. The girl stumbled into a boy in front of her who turned around and steadied her, giving her a cute smile. She smiled back cheesily and he walked away.

"Thanks a lot! I was almost successful until you made me hit him. God!" The girl was stressed. She ran a hand through her hair and blew a wisp of bangs out of her eyes.

"Nice to see you, too, Yuna," Rikku replied sarcastically. She smiled at her cousin and they walked down the hall. She stared dreamily after the boy and sighed.

"Do you think Tidus will ever notice me?" Rikku gave her a lopsided grin.

"Of course he will! Just gotta give 'im time," she replied. Anger still bubbled at the surface but she pushed it down. Yuna had liked Tidus for as long as Rikku could remember, convincing herself that he was her soulmate when he lent her a crayon in elementary school. Since then she'd been stalking him and finding clever ways to remind him of her existence. To be honest, the whole thing was kind of pitiful, but they were cousins. Rikku would love her even if you paid her not to.

"What's on your mind?" She questioned innocently. Rikku groaned.

"The stupid teacher gave me detention! Like, what the hell? I was late by two minutes because I stopped to help a _janitor._ Stupid freaking school is whack," she mumbled. Yuna frowned.

"Well, considering that was seventh period, I'd say that detention time would be right about..." The school bell rang. "Now," she smiled. Rikku made a face as she waved and walked to the detention room. She couldn't get there slow enough, even walking at her slowest pace.

She pushed the cracked door open all the way before stepping in quietly. She smiled ruefully at the teacher. He saw right through her. She shivered and eyed the desks in the far back. There were a couple of blitzball players grouped in the front and a girl dripping with anger and black makeup sitting by herself. Rikku eyed her warily as she glared holes into the blackboard. She made her way to the very back row and sat down. She crossed her tanned legs and slipped in headphones.

She pulled out a book and flipped around for a couple of minutes. What was her dad going to say? He was going to be so disappointed...

"Hey. Haven't seen you around here before. What's your name, ya?" She looked up to see an arrogant looking boy with orange hair eyeing her exposed legs. She made a face at him. He tapped his foot and cocked his head as she ignored him. "I'm not moving until you tell me your name." He narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. Rikku gulped and backed away slightly. Who was this creep?

"Back off, Wakka," A voice called from behind her. She smiled apologetically. He scowled and made his way back to the laughing blitzball players. They probably dared him to talk to her. She sighed in relief and leaned back.

Her eyes shot open as the back of her head connected with a solid stomach. She looked up and examined the face of her savior. He had dusty blonde hair and the same swirled, bright green eyes as all Al Bhed. His cocky smirk sent chills up her back. He tilted his head and laughed. Rikku stared at the muscles in his neck.

"You look grateful." Her mouth twitched into what she hoped was a smile as she looked at his lips.

"You could say that," He flipped around and leaned on the front of her desk.

"So what're you doin' here?"

"You know. Just hangin' out with the cool kids." She cringed inwardly. Who said shit like that? This was detention. He laughed at her face.

"Yeah, right. So what did you _really _do?" Ugh. Her story was so lame.

"I, uh…was late to class," She kept a straight face. "I was finishing up a top secret mission for the government and was forced to spend most of my morning chasing bad guys with big guns and stuff. I missed the bus and had to fly into first period through the window, missing the bell by seconds. It was quite the entrance!" Shesmiled and flipped her hair, turning away from his skeptical face.

"You're full of shit, you know that?" He laughed at her. "My names Gippal," he stuck out a hand.

"Rikku. Nice to meetcha!" She gave him her brightest, happiest smile and shook his hand rigorously.

"You have a pretty smile," He smirked at her. "but a pretty smile might attract unwanted attention in here. Especially from _Wakka_-" he points to the orange haired boy from before, "-or another blitzball player. You should be careful." She nodded my thanks and examined the team more closely.

There were two other boys sitting next to Wakka, talking animatedly and using their hands to tell a story. Wakka was listening closely, but he appeared to be watching over the blonde that sat a bit apart from them. From the back, it looked like Tidus, but she couldn't be sure. He _was_ on the blitzball team, but who knew? He didn't seem like the trouble type. Yuna would like him even more if she thought he was a bad boy.

"Who's the blonde kid?" She questioned. Gippal turned his head to her.

"Hm?" Rikku pointed to the boy. "Oh, that's Tidus."

She nodded. "Yeah, I thought so. I couldn't tell."

"Why, you like him or somethin'?"

"No, not me. My friend."

"Y' know…Tidus and I are pretty good buddies. I bet I could introduce them." Rikku's mouth dropped open.

"Oh, would you? Yuna would just _die!_"

He smiled.

"Yuna, eh? _That's_ who likes him?" He threw his head back and laughed. "Never woulda pegged her to like a guy like him." Rikku frowned.

"What do you mean, 'a guy like him'?"

"Well, she seems like the quiet type, real smart girl an' all, and he's a jock that gets in trouble a bit too much,"

"…and?"

"Well, she seems like she would like the more serious type. But who's to say? I've never even met 'er." He smiled his heartbreaking smile and turned away.

"Then I'll introduce you guys, okay?"

"Whatever you say, _Rikku._"

"Okay, _Gippal_." She stuck her tongue out at him and he pretended to grab it, laughing all the while.


	2. When Two Are One

Confessions of a Broken Heart

_-_When _T w o _Are One-

Soundtrack: Let Love In; Goo Goo Dolls

--

There was something there, I knew it. I could feel it when he looked at me.

--

In retrospect, Gippal was probably not the best person to get herself involved with. He had a bad reputation around the school for being a troublemaker and breaking hearts of innocent girls who didn't know better. She was sure she had heard rumors of him even having relations with LeBlanc, a psychotic girl from the dance team, but she couldn't be sure. Rikku knew that Gippal was always cutting class and saw the principal more than his own wife did. So why was she so adamant on getting him to notice her?

Approximately one week after talking to him for the first time in detention, she found herself slipping into her shortest, and favorite, skirt. She cursed to herself and was forced to take it off because of the windy weather.

Rikku tried her hardest to steer clear of him in the hallways and isolate herself during lunch hour but he always managed to find her. Whether it be a simple brush of his hand across her arm in the hallway or a smirk when they made eye contact, she was shivering every time he entered her thoughts.

She tried to stay away from him, she really did. Rikku didn't think he would be so good at finding her.

An uncharacteristically sunny Tuesday led her to eat her lunch on the rooftop. It was empty nearly everyday and just begging for her to call it her own. She would sneak up there after everybody was in the cafeteria or parking lot and plop down onto an outcropping and read a book while eating.

She frowned when a masculine shadow blocked out the sun. She looked up with an accusatory glare and looked at the perpetrator.

And who else would it be but the mastermind perpetrator himself?

"Gippal? What are you doing here?" She swallowed her bite of apple thickly and set it down.

"I could ask you the same thing, princess," He took a seat next to her.

"How many times have I told you to stop calling me that?"

"Obviously not enough." He grinned cockily at her frustrated expression.

She huffed. "Why must you constantly push my buttons?"

He scooted closer to her and took the book from her hands. She opened her mouth to protest but he pushed even closer until her back was pressed against the wall and his hot breath was giving her exposed neck goose bumps. He trailed a hand over her cheek and tucked a stray bit of hair behind her ear.

"Because. You're cute when you're frustrated." Rikku's cheeks dusted pink and she stood up quickly.

"Oh, I'm sure," she scoffed. "I think you just like making people uncomfortable! And you like the a-attention…" she trailed off as he stood up and towered over her. She gulped and eyed him warily as his jaw flexed and he stared down at her. He had more than half a foot on her, and probably a good 50 pounds.

"You know me so well, Rikku," his smile was like sunshine breaking through a thunderstorm. He backed up until he was at the door to the stairwell. "But not _that_ well." He opened the door and left with a loud _bang_.

She stomped her foot and went back to reading.

Approximately two weeks after talking to him for the first time in detention, she found herself slipping into a white v-neck along with the same skirt. _What was she doing?_

"Oy…this has to stop…" She mumbled to herself as she pulled on jeans.

--

"Oh, Rikku, do you really think he would?" Yuna gushed. Rikku had just finished telling her about Gippal's relations to Tidus.

"I guess if I asked him he might introduce you guys," Rikku grinned. "But you can't act lovesick and idiotic, alright?" Yuna pouted.

"Jerk!" She playfully punched Rikku in the shoulder.

"I was just kidding!" The girls laughed together.

"Hm. What's so funny?" Rikku paused in her laughter and looked up to see Gippal. She gave a small wave.

"Yuna, that's what. Speaking of Yuna, remember what you said in detention a while back?" She asked sweetly.

He put a calloused hand to his chin in thought and frowned.

"No, can't say I do," He shrugged.

"What? Gippal, I know you do!"

"Then why did you ask in the first place?" Rikku narrowed her eyes and tensed up before taking a deep breath and releasing everything. She smiled serenely.

"Nevermind then. I'm sorry to trouble you. Have a nice day!" She walked away, leaving behind an uncomfortable Yuna and hesitant Gippal. She continued walking for all of five seconds before a rush of air hit her and she felt warm hands grab her shoulders. She was turned around quickly and met with frustrated green eyes.

"Why'd you walk away?"

"I didn't have any reason to stay, did I?"

"I-well, uh…" He removed his hands from her shoulders to run through his hair. She instantly missed his warmth.

_Wait, what?_

"I'll introduce them, okay? Follow me." He walked off and Rikku motioned for Yuna to follow her as she trailed after him. The two girls eventually caught up to his fast pace.

"Thank you, Gippal!" Yuna told him. He looked at her and grinned.

"My pleasure, babe," A spark ran up Rikku's spine as she kept her face forward. She could feel him looking at her, but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was messing with her. Actually affecting her.

They were quickly approaching the usual blitz crowd.

Gippal tapped the only bright blonde in the circle on the shoulder.

"Hey, man. What's up?" Tidus called to him as he looked over his shoulder. He turned fully and pounded Gippal's fist as he looked to Rikku and Yuna.

"Nothin' I guess. Just wanted you t' meet Rikku and Yuna," Gippal motioned to the each as he said their name and left Tidus to decipher the hidden meaning in the introduction.

"Nice to meet you!" Rikku chimed happily. He waved to her and smiled softly at Yuna.

"How you ladies doin'?"

"We're fine," Yuna blushed. Rikku watched them slowly walk away towards history hall and smiled to herself. The smile fell off her face when a familiar voice cut through her thoughts.

"Mm, have I missed _that_ fine ass in detention…" she turned her eyes angrily to the group of blitzers and clenched her fists.

"Man, shutup," The orange haired boy surprisingly stuck up for her. She glanced at Gippal and knew why. He was glaring daggers at the boy who dared to make the rude comment.

"Watch it." He threatened before grabbing her arm and leading them away.

"Ouch! Gippal, you're hurting me!" He relinquished her once they reached a group of lockers and turned to her.

"Happy now?"

She glared at him. "Yes, thank you. Care to explain?" She held up her arm and cocked her head.

"Did you not see the way they were looking at you? It was like carnivores advancing on an antelope carcass," Her eyes widened as she gave him a look. "What! I speak the truth…"

She shook her head. "At least Yunie and Tidus seem to be happy, y' know?" He nodded and spared her arm a glance.

"Does it really hurt?" She shrugged and put a hand over it subconsciously. "Sorry." He mumbled.

She smiled and took his hand.

"Let's go get lunch, yeah?" She led him outside of the school.

--

Rikku sat in the passenger seat of Gippal's beat up truck observing the passing scenery. They had decided on a diner a couple miles up from the school with, surprisingly, no arguments.

"Can I unroll the window?" Rikku asked. The lack of air circulation in the car was making her hot.

"Feel free, princess," Gippal shot back. She stuck out her tongue before unrolling the window and closing her eyes. She was both looking forward to and dreading eating lunch at the diner. The idea of being alone with Gippal for lunch was giving her butterflies. After all the time she had spent trying to avoid him, she had ended up with him anyways. What did that say about them? She was dreading it for the same reason.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Rikku tapped her fingers on her knees to the feel-good song on the radio. Gippal pulled into the parking lot of the diner and shut the engine off.

"Ready?" He looked at her. She nodded with a smile and unbuckled her seatbelt. She unlocked the door and jumped to the ground.

"I hear they have killer burgers here," Gippal noted.

Rikku looked up to the glowing, neon sign. _Dad's Diner_.

Once at the door, Gippal held it open and she curtsied with a mocking smile and hurried inside as he laughed at her.

"Hello! How many?" A server questioned.

"Two, please," Gippal answered. The server led the way to a back booth by a window and handed them their menus.

"Your waitress will be here in a moment!" The server smiled and left.

"Thank you for introducing Yunie and Tidus. She really likes him, you know? I think now that they've talked it'll open up his eyes," Rikku started. "I've never met him before now, either, so I guess you killed two birds with one stone." Gippal nodded. He opened his mouth to say something but paused when a pretty brunette approached their table smiling.

"Hi! My names Vanessa and I'll be your waitress today. Can I get your drinks?" Vanessa said all of this with a sugar-coated voice as she gave Gippal all her attention. Gippal glanced at Rikku and asked for coke.

"Iced tea, please." Rikku smiled with tight lips at the waitress.

"Okay, I'll be right back with those!" The waitress smiled at Gippal and walked to the kitchen. He made a noise under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing. She just looks familiar, that's all," Gippal frowned. "But anyway." He looked back at Rikku. He opened his mouth again to speak. "I wanted to-"

"Here you go!" Vanessa nearly shouted as she appeared out of nowhere back at the table. Gippal jumped a little and gave her an incredulous look as she slammed the drinks on the table. "Did you want any appetizers, or did you just want to order?" Gippal shook his head.

"I don't. Rikku?"

"No appetizers for me, thanks," She didn't bother to smile this time.

"Okay! So, you need a couple more minutes to decide, then?" Gippal nodded at her and she bounced away. He watched her a moment then turned to Rikku with a raised eyebrow.

"Someone's had too much sugar." Rikku giggled and pushed some hair behind her ears. When she quieted down he turned serious. "I really like hanging out with you, Rikku."

The girl in question blushed faintly.

"This is the first time we've hung out. I mean, really hung out." She corrected. He shrugged in response.

"Either way. I like your company." He grinned at her. "Makes me glad I met you in detention," The grin turned into a smirk. "You stuck out like a sore thumb, it would have been hard not to meet you." She huffed and feigned anger as he laughed at her.

"Yeah, well, wish I could say the same for you!"

"Aw, Rikku, that hurts," He placed a hand over his heart as if in pain. "I thought I fit in quite well!"

"No, you idiot! E sayhd ypuid saadehk oui..." She crossed her arms over her chest. Rikku was pretty sure she was one of the few dozen students that spoke Al Bhed at her school, even though a decent amount of the student body was Al Bhed.

"Yc ev dryd sygac dra pmuf macc byehvim." He leaned in and whispered.

Rikku turned to him in surprise.

"You speak Al Bhed too?"

"Yeah, of course! Any self-respecting Al Bhed should be able to speak their native language. 's a shame that more people don't know how." She smiled at him.

"Yn ouu nato dfu utan?" Rikku cringed. _Oder…?_

Vanessa was at the table again, appearing out of nowhere like before, and speaking Al Bhed. The girl was clearly Spiran and couldn't speak the language to save her life.

"Uhh…yeah, sure," Gippal chuckled. "I'll have a burger, medium."

"Si!"

_What? That was Spanish, not Al Bhed!_

"And I'll have…mm, a chicken sandwich." Vanessa nodded. Rikku waited in tense silence as Vanessa took her time writing the "oder" down. Once she was done she took a deep breath and stared at Gippal. He took a moment to notice her eyes and stared back. He furrowed his brow.

"…yes?"

"You don't remember me, do you?" Vanessa's voice had changed from sweet to flat and angry in a matter of seconds. Gippal looked perturbed for a moment before shaking his head.

"Can' say I do," He answered only half apologetically. Rikku cocked her head and leaned back into the seat.

"You mean we went out for half a year and you can't even remember my face?" Vanessa shook with anger and looked ready to tear Gippal's hair out. He looked at her with wide eyes as recognition flashed across his eyes.

"_Katie? _You look…different,"

"Yeah, well, you don't, and it appears you're still an ass." She glared at him and turned towards Rikku. "Have fun dating a jerk who won't remember you once you break up, bitch!" Rikku was shocked and a tad angry at Vanessa's (or was it Katie's?) outburst. She girl stormed off and the two were left in silence.

"Well…that was-" Gippal started.

"Save it." Rikku cut him off and stood up. It was clear Vanessa/Katie wasn't going to be serving them anymore, and Gippal was a jerk just as she had suspected, so why bother staying? Her stomach rumbling only fueled her anger as she made her way to the door. The bell rang as she shoved her way out and rang right after as Gippal followed.

"Rikku, wait up!" He caught up to her and grabbed her arm.

"Stop _grabbing_ me!" His hand instantly fell off of her. "What was that, Gippal? Am I going to be another girl in a long line?" He kept his face carefully blank as she ranted. "I liked you before, but I refuse to be a damn trophy for you to show off!" He smiled. "I'm not going to let you use me and leave me in the dust, _okay?"_ She all but shouted.

Rikku breathed in the dusty air and stared him down.

"Okay, for starters-that girl dyed her hair and changed her name and did a lot of growing since I last saw her. She moved away but obviously came back, because I haven't seen her for about four years. And also, what makes you think I'm using you? You're not a trophy, okay?" He pulled a hand through his hair and looked away. "I like you. Enough to really want to not screw this up."

Rikku held her tongue. If she liked him, and he liked her, then they could really…the two of them could-

"Okay," she breathed. "Let's pretend like that never happened." He let out a big lungful of air. "Well, not pretend it never happened, but let's shove it to the back of our minds, okay?"

He nodded.

"'Cause if we both like each other, then we could…well, you know?" She struggled for words, but he seemed to grasp her meaning.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, princess," She grinned for once at the nickname. "Let's go back to school."

He put an arm around her shoulders and led her to his truck as she sighed in happiness.


	3. Three Lessons

**Confessions of a Broken Heart**

_-T h r e e _Lessons –

Soundtrack: The Curse of Curves; Cute is What We Aim For

--

There wasn't anything wonderfully amazing about him, but there was something I couldn't quite resist.

--

After the incident at the diner, Rikku decided that being with Gippal wouldn't be such a bad idea. She figured that she could control herself and ignore his subliminal manipulation. She was slowly becoming more and more attached to him-finding herself bored half to death when he wasn't around and feeling more alive when he was with her. She would get detention at least once a week because she knew he would always be there.

They spent a lot of time together whether in school or not, leaving campus to get lunch or catching movies on the weekends. She still made time for Yuna, but with Tidus Yuna was just as busy.

"He's just so sweet to me," Yuna sighed. "He'll surprise me with a flower in my locker or dinner at a nice place. It's so romantic!" Rikku nodded and smiled along with Yuna. It had been a month or so since she and Tidus met and now they were dating like it had been many more months than that. Rikku was jealous of their stability. Gippal tended to be unpredictable, and Rikku found it hard to not get angry with him at times.

He wouldn't drop calling her princess, and sometimes she laughed and smiled up at him like he was the funniest boy in the world and other times she punched him in the shoulder and glared. It depended on the tone of voice he had when he used the nickname, she guessed.

They hadn't heard anymore from Vanessa/Katie and for that Rikku was thankful. Truthful to his words, Gippal wasn't acting like she was a trophy but rather a secret he wanted to keep from the rest of the world. He was protective of her like he was her brother…but also not? Rikku couldn't explain him.

That day left Rikku feeling annoyed. It was Friday and she had gotten detention without even trying-what was _happening_ to her?-and was stuck at school for another hour. She had no doubt that Gippal would be there, as he was nearly every day, but…it was Friday. She had plans with Yuna that night.

She stepped into the familiar room and waved sheepishly to the teacher at the front. He frowned at her and narrowed his eyes. She quickly searched out the sleeping form of Gippal in the back row and made her way behind his chair. The soothing guitar of Tequila Moonlight drifted out of a hidden headphone as she examined his sleeping face. She smiled before poking his nose and ducking out of the way as he swung an arm where her body was just moments before.

"Jeez, Gippal, what did I do?" She asked playfully. He frowned at her.

"You woke me up, that's what," Rikku grinned and took a seat next to him. He stretched out and took a deep breath. "Mmm…you look hot today, princess." Rikku turned red and looked at him from under her eyelashes.

"Why thank you, you don't look half bad yourself," she giggled. She crossed her legs and drummed her fingers on the desk. He actually looked like he had just woken up after a long nap.

Rikku sighed. This boy stirred emotions in her that she didn't know what to make of. Everytime she saw him her eyes lit up and she would run toward him already smiling with a teasing remark on the tip of her tongue. He made her _crazy._

"Y' know, you smile a lot for a girl who's gettin' detention this often. Where's your tough girl exterior, huh?" She turned to look at him.

"Where's your tough boy exterior?" She retorted. She crossed her arms and turned to the front with a scowl.

"See, that's what I'm talkin' about! We need more of that!" She continued to scowl until it turned into a playful pout and she was looking at him from the corners of her eyes. "Nope, that ruined it."

She opened her mouth to protest but he put a finger on her lips.

"Let me teach you. There's three rules: aloof, alone, and alarming. You gotta act like y' don't care, you have no one, and like you're dangerous." Rikku busted up laughing after a moment of silence.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Gippal gave her a dirty look.

"Well, if you ever are, y' know, in a situation where it calls for being a tough girl, you'll know how to pretend…'cause everyone knows you're really not, but it's a good skill to have. Pretendin', I mean."

"Whatever," Rikku replied.

"Well, try it. Be a tough girl, if you think you can," he teased. He knew she wouldn't be able to resist it if he challenged her.

"I can!" she shot back. "I just don't want to…"

"Yeah, uh huh. Prove you can, Rikku." It was turning into a game.

"Fine!"

She got up and walked to the other side of the classroom, leaning against the wall with dangerous eyes shooting coolly towards everybody in the classroom. The newcomers eyed her warily and looked away when she flung her acid stare towards them. She crossed her arms and glared out the window for a moment before turning to Gippal.

"Good enough?" she hissed. He smiled and inclined his head a bit.

"Come 'ere," He said lightly. She walked towards him slowly, hips swaying until she was arms-length away from him. He looked at her hips hungrily and turned his darkening gaze to her face. She smiled slightly as he reached out an arm and pulled her to him. "Smile, won't you?" She broke out her sunniest smile as he grinned back at her. They smiled sweetly at each other for a minute before Gippal stood up and gripped her face between his hands. Rikku was proud for keeping her breathing steady as she lost her smile and looked into his eyes.

He kissed her softly. Rikku became dizzy and she brought her arms up to his chest. He pulled back far too quickly and she was left…kind of empty. She frowned.

He backed away slowly as they stared at each other.


	4. Four More Days

Confessions of a Broken Heart

_-F o u r _More Days –

Soundtrack: Break Apart Her Heart; Good Charlotte

--

Part of me wanted someone to stand up and tell me I was making a mistake. The other part of me wanted someone to stand up and tell me I wasn't.

--

"Yunie, it was so damn _awkward._"

"Well, did you expect him to confess his love to you or something?"

"I don't know-I-maybe?" Yuna gave Rikku a look that told her she was crazy.

"Ugh! What do I do? He isn't speaking to me and it's driving me crazy. He's pulling that tough guy shit and being all 'aloof, alone, and alarming' but I can see past it! I know what he's like-and I know he's trying hard not to talk to me. I wish he just would, he's making this harder than it needs to be," Rikku took a deep breath. "I miss him."

Yuna frowned delicately. "He has to talk to you eventually."

"Well…yeah?" The two girls looked at each other carefully.

"Oh, Yuna. What do I do?"

"You need to talk to him, soon," she replied.

"So…like…tomorrow?"

"Maybe not that soon. Like…a week?"

"Nuh uh! Too long. I give him…"

"Uh, Rikku-"

"Four days. That's all he gets, and then I'm hunting him down for interrogations!" Rikku pumped her fist into the air. Yuna let a giggle loose and put a hand over her mouth.

"Sorry, you should see yourself. You're so worked up!" Rikku smiled but her face melted into distress.

"Yeah, with good reason. He kissed me and now he's being…an _ass_," Rikku's eyes widened. "I hate when he gets all…_assy._"

"Assy? Nice," Yuna commented dryly.

"Oh, whatever! Not like you would know, I'm sure Tidus is never an ass!" Yuna smiled.

"Nope. But Tidus does have his stupid moments. We had to stop at the gas station the other day to fill my car and we're standing outside, right? He's in the middle of retelling part of a blitzball game and I walk inside to pay, but he keeps talking. I didn't notice at first because I thought he would just, like…trail off or something and kind of reminisce by himself, but he kept going, and I'm in there for a solid two minutes and when I get back out he's still going, and getting into it. I cracked up and he turned and gave me the funniest look." Rikku smiled at her story. Yeah, Tidus would.

She yawned and stretched out on her bed. Yuna popped a chip into her mouth and flipped the channel.

"I just want him to be straightforward, you know? Say what he means and stuff?"

"I know."

"Men are _so_ complicated," Rikku sighed.

If Rikku was to be honest with herself, she was beginning to get furious. She really liked Gippal. She knew he really liked her. They started out as kids fooling around in detention but now…now what were they? After what happened at the diner Rikku thought he wouldn't pull anything like this, but she was beginning to think differently. Was kissing her all he was after? And now that he reached his goal, was she useless to him? She wanted answers to her questions, and more, but he wouldn't _speak up._

There were bits of guilt inside of her, too. It was his fault for goading her into proving she could act, but it was her fault for making him want her.

She was angry, but couldn't help but feeling guilty.

--

That was it. She had given him four days and she couldn't take any more. Rikku had tried to give Gippal a chance to come and explain to her, but he wouldn't even look at her. What else could she do…? She hadn't gotten detention once that week for fear of being stuck awkwardly with him again. He was making her cautious.

School had ended about an hour before and Rikku had stopped at home to drop her stuff off before heading out to find Gippal. She recalled where he lived after she dropped him off one time.

Once she pulled into his driveway she sat for a moment, contemplating. Maybe by hunting him down, storming his house, she was putting Gippal into a position that she really shouldn't. Yeah, he deserved it, but what would _she_ do if someone…she didn't need to think about it. She would be very angry if someone did what she was about to.

Her patience was running thin. She ran her fingers over the steering wheel and let them fall into her lap.

Rikku had kissed boys before. There was one time at a summer camp when her cabin and the boys cabin next door were playing spin the bottle, late at night, and Rikku got to kiss the very attractive-but not as attractive as Gippal-junior counselor. It was a sloppy kiss. He had a big mouth and Rikku never saw him the same again after that night.

But her kiss with Gippal…it was soft, sweet, everything a kiss was supposed to be. Wasn't it? She had thought so.

Rikku frowned and glared at his house. Was she overreacting? He just kissed her. People kissed all the time.

But…what if she lo-

Well, no. What ifs didn't help any situation. Rikku knew how she felt, knew what she thought, and knew what she was going to do. She was going to _demand_ an answer, and she was going to _get_ one, dammit.

She got out of the car and slammed the door. Anger coursed through her body and left hot trails in her veins that ignited every body part. She could feel her eyes practically glowing with fury and her legs were burning and carrying her up to the door faster than she thought possible. She ripped open the door and stomped into his house. The quiet guitar music from the basement led her to find him laying on the couch and staring at the ceiling. One look at her and he shot off the couch like it was made of hot coals. She clenched and unclenched her fists and advanced towards him.

"What the _hell, _Gippal!" He took a step towards her. "I have been waiting for you to talk to me for _days_ now! DAYS! _You_ were the one that kissed me, and I may have kissed back, but _you_ started it." She poked him in the shoulder, hard. "What's so hard about explaining it to me, huh? WHAT? I've been stressing over this, wondering what I did to you, wondering if I'm a _trophy-_"

"Rikku, no-"

"No! Stop! Let me finish, Gippal. I've been wondering if everything you said at the diner was a lie, if everything that I believed you weren't has been lurking beneath the surface and waiting to jump out at me. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to think when you pull that kind of shit and then don't talk to me? _What was I supposed to do?_" Rikku took a deep breath. "You can't just kiss me and then abandon me. I'm not going to be another stupid-ass girl who moves away and recreates herself just to get over you. I'm not going to be another Vanessa, okay? I _refuse._"

She breathed heavily. Gippal stared at her with unreadable eyes.

"If you think I'm going to sit down and take this kind of crap from a guy like you, you are _wrong_. I thought you were different, but I guess I was wrong." She put her hands on her hips and shook her head. "You know where to find me…" She began to walk away, leaving him motionless in the basement with his thoughts.

"…But don't bother."


	5. The Worst Five Words

Confessions of a Broken Heart

**Confessions of a Broken Heart**

_-_The _ F i v e _Worst Words –

Soundtrack: The Guest; Juliet Simms

--

I could have just left. It would have killed me, but who's to say he would have noticed?

--

Gippal was back to avoiding her. She thought that maybe he would approach her and try to fix things, but all her accusations were proving to be right. He wouldn't talk to her, look at her, nothing. She found relief in Yuna and occasionally Tidus, but only when he was convenient.

She missed him more than anything. Rikku figured that maybe if she yelled at him a little, kind of pushed him around and got everything out of her system, she wouldn't feel like she missed him. But it was there, curled up in the bottom of her stomach and reminding her constantly of what she was missing. Her dad was happy that she wasn't getting any more detention, but Rikku missed the stale classroom, vulgar blitzers and bitchy teachers. She missed everything Gippal. The way his car smelled, the way _he _smelled, the way they would cut class to get lunch and stay out late on weekends to sneak into movies and eat too much popcorn. She had known him for two months and she was attached to him with steel chains.

But, she felt like she had _really_ known him. She wanted to hit him but at the same time…hug him.

Walking through the school halls with Yuna and Tidus, Rikku tried to confront her emotions.

"It's not fair that I feel like this and he isn't showing any kind of struggle, you know? Am I the only one that's hurting inside?" She questioned.

"I think he's hurting, but doesn't want to show it. Gippal has a typical male complex that prevents him from showing, as he sees it, weakness for a girl," Tidus responded. "But don't think he's not struggling. It may not look like it, but I know him well, and I can tell he misses you."

Rikku pouted and put her head on Yuna's shoulder. "This sucks."

"He'll come around eventually, Rikku. I know it," Tidus comforted.

"Yeah, don't worry. Everything will work itself it, okay?" Yuna looked at her friend. She was distraught.

"Okay. If you say so…"

--

Rikku was worried. She hadn't spoken to Gippal in at least two weeks since she blew up at him, but her feelings for him weren't letting up. If anything, they were getting stronger. Every morning she woke up and she thought of him. Every night when she was falling asleep she thought of him. Occasionally, she dreamt of him. In her dreams, Gippal would hold her and tell her he was sorry and he wouldn't leave her again. Dream Gippal sometimes seemed a bit nicer than the real Gippal but deep inside, Rikku knew there was no replacement for him. No matter how hard she hoped there was.

Walking to lunch, Rikku sighed. What was she going to do with herself? She looked down at the floor and quickened her pace.

"Rikku!" Her head snapped up painfully. She put a hand to her neck and looked around cautiously. She could have sworn she just heard him calling her name, but that was crazy. He didn't want anything to do with her. She smiled wistfully and continued on.

"_Rikku!_" She stopped. Okay, she was crazy. She turned around as student after student bumped into her.

A blonde head bobbed into her vision and she froze. Was he going to apologize or tear her to pieces?

He fought his way through the crowd until he was right in front of her. Seeing his face broke a dam inside of Rikku and she had to fight with herself to not reach out and touch the smooth skin. Their relationship was precarious enough as it was.

"Hey," He said breathlessly. "I was looking for you."

"Well, you found me," Rikku flinched at the double meaning. The air between them became electrified and she was afraid to move, to breathe. She waited a few tense moments before speaking again. Better that she wasn't the only one to feel uncomfortable and stuff, yeah? "Did you need something?"

He frowned. "Yeah, about that…" Gippal shifted awkwardly and rubbed his neck. Rikku's eyes widened and she ripped the hand that was still on her neck away. _When did she pick that up?_ "I wanted t', uh…apologize."

Oh. What?

"I shouldn't have done what I did." Anger flared within Rikku.

"Oh, you mean kissed me?" She clenched her fists. "Where the hell do you get off apologizing for it like it was a mistake? What if it _meant_ something, huh? You jerk!" She pouted and poked him in the chest for good measure. "You may be sorry, but _I'm_ not," She breathed heavily.

He smirked. "I actually meant the avoidin' part."

Rikku made her face blank. Boy, she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, was she?

"Well…I miss you, so I…wanted t'…yeah," Gippal finished lamely. Rikku held back her bright smile. What if he was lying? She bit her lip and fought internally. She wanted to reach out and hold him to convince herself that this could be made better, but what if it couldn't? Rikku didn't want to hold out for something that wouldn't come. Putting her life on hold she wouldn't do for him. She would wait for him, but not forever.

"I missed you too," She said quietly. He looked at her with an open face. Her lip trembled. "Why did you do that, Gippal?" Her eyes bore into him with such intensity that he almost backed away. "I thought we had something, you know? I told you I really liked you, and you promised I wouldn't be another Vanessa, and then you…" Rikku couldn't think of what to say. "Why?"

He reached out a hand and put it on her shoulder. It smoothed down her sleeve until it reached her elbow, then her hand, and he gripped it soundly.

"I wish you hadn't…I mean, what if-when did I-you-I love you," Rikku sputtered. Her eyes widened as she realized that her secret was revealed. She made to back away but Gippal's other hand snaked out to touch her face.

"And I love you," He said softly.

Rikku smiled and put her forehead against his. Maybe her internal struggles, her anger, and all of her mixed emotions had been worth it. Just maybe…


	6. Six Minutes

Confessions of a Broken Heart

_-S i x _Minutes-

Soundtrack: Anything, Mae

--

Maybe he did love me. But unrequited love isn't how he broke my heart.

--

"Gippal, _stop it!"_ Rikku giggled. His hands were pressed over her sides, fingers playing along the skin as she laughed with mirth. In other words, he was tickling her. "You're going to make me pass out," she warned. He grinned at her and leaned closer.

"I'm sure a passed out Rikku would be far more fun than one that babbles as much as you do."

Rikku narrowed her eyes but laughed anyways. "You jerk!" She wormed out of his grasp and he chased her.

It was a beautiful sunny day. Everything was right in Rikku's world. Yuna was happy, Gippal was happy, she was happy. She didn't have detention. She already did her homework, which was minimal anyways. It was Friday. And even better, she and Gippal were in the park spending the afternoon together. He had driven her on his motorcycle after school, which was quite a thrill. She had spread her arms and 'kawed' like a bird, to his amusement. Rikku smiled when he caught up to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"You thought you could run away from me, princess?" He murmured into her ear. "Think again."

He kissed her neck slowly and her eyes drifted shut.

Perfect day, indeed.

"I'll never let you go," he said quietly. Rikku sighed and melted into him. "Not even when I do this!" He spun and tossed her to the ground. He reached out and grabbed her at the last second as she stared at him in shock.

"Do you have do ruin _all_ good moments, Gippal?" She demanded. He smirked at her.

"Yes. It's the price you gotta pay for bein' with such a good lookin' guy like me," he crossed his arms. Rikku gaped at him.

"You are such a self-centered…_meanie!_" Gippal burst out laughing and bent over. Rikku huffed. "Well, you are."

"You are priceless, Rikku. You are," He gasped out. She smiled a little at him. Priceless, eh?

"So…I'm worth more than a thousand dollars?" She questioned innocently. He moved forward to ruffle her hair.

"Oh, hell no." Rikku's jaw dropped. Why, the nerve of- "You're worth more than a gazillion trillion dollars!" he amended.

"That's better," she smiled.

She loved him, she really did. Rikku was glad that all of the trouble from before was over. She loved being with him. She loved the way his hair ruffled in the wind, she loved the way he teased her but made up for it, she loved the way he saved that one special smile for her, where the corners of his lips would turn up slightly and his eyes laid her soul bare. He was her everything.

"C'mon, we should get going," he nodded to the sky. It was beginning to get dark. Rikku figured they had lost track of time while they were fooling around. "I'll drive you home."

"Kaw, kaw!" She ran toward his bike with her arms flapping and hair streaming behind her. His manly laughter echoed in the trees surrounding her as she raced to snap on a helmet.

--

Rikku stepped off the bike and kissed Gippal goodnight.

"I love you," she smiled softly as they parted.

"And I love you," He brushed a hand over her face. "Goodnight." She waved and skipped to her front door. She fished around in her bag for her keys and unlocked the door, slipping inside. The aroma of Chinese takeout wafted through the air and Rikku smiled. Without her to make dinner, what were Brother and her dad supposed to do?

"I'm home!" She called out. Rikku went straight upstairs and skipped the food. Her stomach was too full of butterflies for her to even think of eating. She ran to her window and opened it up, feeling so full she might burst. She released a breath she had been holding out into the night air. She closed her eyes and willed her thoughts to reach out to Gippal, wherever he was. She breathed deeply and turned to flop down on her bed.

No sooner than she had gotten comfortable reading a magazine, her cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Yes, hello? Is this Rikku?"

"It is," she said cautiously. The number was restricted.

"This is the county hospital. I'm afraid we have a Gippal in here who has been asking for you…"

Rikku didn't hear the rest of what the lady had to say. Her phone had slipped out of her hand to crash to the floor. Hospital…?

She ripped a jacket off the floor and sprinted out her door.

--

The parking lot was half-full. Rikku took the one closest to the door as she could, and to her credit it was a decent park, but she didn't feel it was good enough. Gippal was inside, hurt, maybe _dying_ and she had to get there as fast as possible. She held back tears at the thought. They had just found each other, was it really fair to lose him this soon?

She rushed through the automatic doors and to the front desk.

"Hi, I'm here to see Gippal," She wheezed, out of breath. "Gippal L-"

"I know, honey. You wouldn't believe how uncommon the name Gippal is. He's the only one I've ever met!" The nurse smiled slightly. "He's in room 504. Head on up." Rikku nodded and made her way to the elevators. The doors wouldn't open fast enough. The elevator wouldn't travel fast enough. Her legs couldn't carry her fast enough. _Wings_ wouldn't be able to get her to him fast enough.

She fiddled with the doorknob a little and burst into the room.

"Gip…pal?" She trailed off. He was attached to at least four IV's and looked paler than an Al Bhed should ever look. She approached him with uncharacteristic caution and he forced open his eyes.

"Hey, princess…" He coughed and she pulled a chair to his side and grabbed his hand. "This is kinda embarassin', you seein' me like this an' stuff. You won't tell, though, yeah?" She giggled in spite of the dread creeping up her spine.

"What happened to you?" She asked. He looked down.

"Well…after dropping you off I was taking the normal route home when my headlights blew out. I guess it was hard to see-" he broke off his sentence to hack into a speckled washcloth. _Blood…?_ "Sorry. I guess it was hard to see my headlights, because a huge truck…hit me…" He coughed again, more violently. It was only then that she took note of the deep gashes all over his body and the purple bruises that mottled his face. It made him look grotesque and monstrous, but Rikku had never been happier to see him.

"Oh, Gippal! I'm so sorry!" She leaned forward and hugged him without caution, forgetting his current state. He flinched and she pulled back, feeling guilty. She was too careless. "At least you're okay though, right?"

He didn't answer. Rikku started to get nervous.

"At least you're okay, though…._right?_" He frowned and glared at the wall.

"No. I'm not okay. At all."

Rikku sucked in air so fast it made her esophagus twitch and close up. Her eyes watered and her brain thrashed for a mental anchor of some kind.

"What do you mean?" Be brave, be brave, be brave…

He turned to look at her, really look at her, and his bright green eyes were so full of sorrow she could feel it, taste it, and feel it in the air surrounding her. His words made her hair stand on end.

"Judging by what the doctors have said, I've got about…six minutes left," He finished quietly. Rikku could feel herself panicking. The adrenaline was being pumped into her blood like gas into a car.

"No! No, Gippal, it's just a car accident, we can fix this! You'll be okay, don't listen to them, I'm not going-"

"Rikku! It's not. I was hit by a truck. On a motorcycle. My internal bleeding is so bad that I can practically _feel_ my lungs drowning," Rikku started to cry. "I'm so drugged up that I can't feel anything below my waist," Rikku wanted to claw her eyes out, she wanted to fucking _blow up_ the truck that hit him, go back in time and…do something. Do anything! "I'm dying." His voice broke and he squeezed her hand.

Four minutes.

She broke down and fell into his chest. He flinched but held her fast. Was this the cruel fate of all lovers? Were they to find each other, only to lose each other? Rikku sobbed hopelessly into the hospital gown of the only boy she had ever loved-the only boy she felt like she had ever even known-and lost hope. She lost her faith in life. What was the point? Gippal was going to die. Was dying. Was practically already dead. _No! She couldn't think things like that!_

Three minutes.

"What am I supposed to do without you?" She looked at him through the blurry vision of a distraught teenage girl. Her head ached and her eyes were swollen.

"You'll figure it out…I promise…" He grunted and put a hand over his heart. Rikku noticed a little red spot near his hand that was beginning to pool into a much larger stain. She tried to get up and tell someone, anyone, but he pulled her back down. "Don't. My fate is sealed. We both know what's gonna happen t' me…" He smiled a little and squeezed her hand.

Two minutes.

"I'll never love anybody as much as I loved you." He looked at her angrily.

"Don't you dare say that, Rikku. You're going to live your life, happily, and you're going to find someone else that you love. Maybe even more than me. Don't give up on hope like that, okay? Promise me."

She swallowed heavily and nodded her head with caution.

"I promise."

They intertwined their fingers and held onto each other will all they had.

"I love you, Gippal," she said quietly. Rikku spoke her words true, straight down to her core, and meant every syllable.

"And I love you, princess," He smiled the biggest and brightest smile she had ever seen him muster. Images fluttered through her mind briefly as she stared at him.

One minute.

Detention. The diner. His house. Her house. The park. The cafeteria. The movies. Him and Tidus. Him smiling. Gippal. Gippal. _Gippal_. He was everywhere inside of her, spreading through her veins like a poison she never wanted to get rid of.

He took ragged gasps and she looked down to see that through her reminiscing, his whole front had turned scarlet. She whimpered and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"I'll never forget you, Gippal." She pulled away and kissed him one last time. The finality of the kiss made her face crumple. She felt it as he sucked in his last breath, through her. She felt a part of her die inside as he died. And then…Rikku felt nothing.

She vaguely remembered being escorted out of the hospital in hysterics and her father and brother waiting downstairs. When had they gotten there? She remembered being strapped into her dads car as her brother took her own home. She remembered being tucked into bed and having her hair pulled back and her crying being soothed. The familiar gestures reminded her of Gippal and brought on another wave hysteria. When she finally cried herself to sleep, she had deep, dreamless sleep that she thanked the heavens for.

And when she woke up, she cried once more. After she felt done, empty and dried up, she looked out of her window and to the sky. The elevator, her legs, even wings couldn't have gotten her to him fast enough. But her mind could reach him faster than light speed. He was a part of her.

She inhaled and closed her eyes.


	7. Epilogue: Day Seven

Confessions of a Broken Heart

_-_Prologue: Day _ S e v e n _-

Soundtrack: Calendar Marks; My Favorite Highway

--

Time always passes. Even for the slowest of people. Even for me.

--

The sun was shining. The wind sent out its regards in the form of a gentle breeze that kept Rikku from sweating in the heat. Watching a preacher as he read from his little book, Rikku let her mind wander. She dabbled in thoughts of detention, dipped in feelings of devotion, and dove into images of death. It had been one week since Gippal had died.

_Funny, it felt like a year._

Rikku inhaled the scent of freshly dug earth and willed herself not to cry. She was a tad shocked to find that it was unnecessary: she felt strangely complacent. She had spent the past week mourning.

Rikku wanted to let go.

She watched as the casket was being lowered into the ground and held her breath. This was it, this was the last moment she would ever be remotely close to Gippal in her entire _life_. She would jump in the dirt and snuggle with the worms if it meant she could be with him. But she couldn't.

She realized that. Rikku mentally took inventory of all her negative feelings, her sad thoughts and mourning memories and gathered them up in an imaginary plastic bag. She tied the top and chained it shut, to amuse herself. She envisioned herself tossing the bag into its own grave alongside Gippal's. She smiled lightly to herself as she felt weight being lifted off of her shoulders.

Rikku lifted her head to the blue sky and fully broke into a smile. She would be with him again, someday. She would see him in heaven.

She would find love again. She would be happy. All for him. Gippal left her feeling inspired and newly ready for life. She watched as people offered each other condolences and tossed flowers into the pit. She tossed her own bright yellow rose into the grave and sighed.

"Love you."

She turned, finished, and walked away from him. _But not forever._

She would go back, to visit, always. She looked into the distance and felt like she was falling into the sun itself it was so bright.

Rikku would remember him. Rikku would love him. Rikku would let go. Letting go was growing up.

She smiled as she walked away and into the rest of her life.


End file.
